oh baby!

what is it about being married that gives people-even relative strangers-the impression that:

a. you have suddenly become a baby-churning machine

b. they have the privilege of discussing your reproductive choices with you??

seriously, i have been married for all of 3 months, with no intention of procreating for a loooooooong looooooong while, but I'm already fed up with the apparant ease with which people intrude into my personal space on this issue! boss for example, in an attempt to show that he has feminist sympathies (after i lambasted him for daring to call me-even jokingly- mrs. my-husband's-name) turns a popular blessing on its head and keeps saying, "hope you have a thousand daughters". how very evolved of him, no? and then, in my presence, he keeps telling others, in another see-see-i'm-so-liberal- vein, that this is his blessing for us! urgh! totally eww-inspiring! next time he does it though, i've decide to come back with a "oh haven't you heard??they've figured out you dont need to be married to make babies!!" seriously, I will.

I even had a well-meaning high court judge, whom i've met all of 3 times tell me- as one career woman to another- that I should'nt put off procreating just to advance my career....oh, and this was completely unsolicited of course!!!

So why this sudden diatribe? before we got married, i told boy, in no uncertain terms, that babies are not on the radar for a long long time, and that he should let his parents also know, coz i dont want any- we-are-getting-old-we-want-to-see-our grandchild's-face-before-we-die kind of drama in my life. what i never thought of doing, was to give my own parents a similar lecture....thinking that as they have encouraged me all my life to make something of myself, they, if at all, will be against my having babies before my career is well on track. but of course, if only parents could be so predictable...so yesterday mum calls, and in the midst of general yapping, gives a fake-high-laugh (which should have been enough to warn me that this couldn't be good) and then says,

" ha, ha, you know, two weeks back, dad had a dream in which he saw you, boy, and the two of us, and we were all playing with a baby...so he got up and asked me to mark this date...ha ha ha...but of course since you cribbed later about chum cramps, it was all just a dream...ha ha ha"

me: blank

mum (repeating, with very faint interrogative tone): yeah so this was only a dream...?....

me: what do u THINK it was???are u CRAZY????

mum (backtracking, aware that she has stirred a hornet's nest): no, no, i said it was only a dream....

me: mum, dont even dream about it...at least for 5 years, then we might start thinking...

mum (alarmed): no, no, u shudnt leave it that long...boy will be too old by then...

me: whoa! whoa! whoa!! dont even go there ok! you want babies to play with-get bro married off and ask him to give you babies...or for all you know the baby dad saw was his...after all havent u heard, they've figured out you dont need to be married to make babies!! (ok, so this was a heaven sent opportunity to try out the line....)

mum (in full damage control mode): no, no you do what you want. obviously you know best. I was just telling you funny dream. Oh, dad's calling. ok, beta, bye! good nite!

now you have to know how my parents operate to understand this whole thing...they are not pushy...they dont do pushy...that's too unsophisticated...so there'll be little hints here, significant pauses there,-nothing overt that you can pin them down on- but enough for you to know, what it is that they want, and what will REALLY make them happy (reminder to self-DON'T ask parents what they want for birthday/anniversary for a long long time!!)

So. I dont know what shocked me more- my parents discussing the possibility of my procreating????(EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW) or that they would actually be happy if I started so soon?? of course, as a direct result, boy is walking around with a smug-superior-smirk on his face, and once in a while going "ha, so you thought my parents will bring it up first, did you??" trust parents to let you down in your important battles in life- carving a career for yourself, making your own choices, and of course, winning the my-relatives-are-better-than-yours feud with your spouse!!

Wonderful World

I am not much of a nature person, and once the rains get properly underway, i positively hate them. but there is something about the beginning of monsoon- the first clap of thunder,the sudden cooling of temperature and the forceful gusts of wind- that gives me goose bumps. the heightened-sense-of-being-alive kinds...

Back home, school used to re-open in the middle of June just as monsoon struck, and there was the excitement of meeting friends after a long time, going to a new class, and anticipation of new things. This is now so wired into my genetic code that the first flush of monsoon brings about a certain mix of nostalgia and anticipation thats hard to describe...a visceral feeling of standing on the verge of something big and wonderful... Some people get spring fever. I always fall prey to the monsoon bug myself..

Then there are the unique monsoon smells...the smell of wet earth is one of the heavenliest ever...and then each place has its own unique first-spell-of-rain-aroma...law school (in my first few years at least) had this overpowering eucalyptus scent from the wet trees between the hostel and the acad block, and my first few memories of law school are of running to and from class under the canopy of these trees as rain fell all around me, and of dancing in the rain outside the hostel during Univ week, kicking off slippers and racing each other from the phone-booth to the mess or playing rain-rugby in the quad...in later years followed by vodka shots in the room to warm us up;-)

Rains in Bhopal have their own magic. The parched earth and the dried up lake have sprung to life overnight...a mist hangs over the surrounding mountains giving them an etheral, sun-and-dew-drapped-lazy-sunday-morning feel...and everything is green again. There is again that sense of anticipation, of limitless possibilites, and the urgent need to sip hot coffee and nibble on deep fried samosas (which we substitute with choy and chips). And everytime I step out of home and look out onto the surrounding valley, lake and mountains there is a single breathless moment when I feel overwhelmed by the beauty of the place, and I think to myself, What a wonderful world....