what is it about being married that gives people-even relative strangers-the impression that:
a. you have suddenly become a baby-churning machine
b. they have the privilege of discussing your reproductive choices with you??
seriously, i have been married for all of 3 months, with no intention of procreating for a loooooooong looooooong while, but I'm already fed up with the apparant ease with which people intrude into my personal space on this issue! boss for example, in an attempt to show that he has feminist sympathies (after i lambasted him for daring to call me-even jokingly- mrs. my-husband's-name) turns a popular blessing on its head and keeps saying, "hope you have a thousand daughters". how very evolved of him, no? and then, in my presence, he keeps telling others, in another see-see-i'm-so-liberal- vein, that this is his blessing for us! urgh! totally eww-inspiring! next time he does it though, i've decide to come back with a "oh haven't you heard??they've figured out you dont need to be married to make babies!!" seriously, I will.
I even had a well-meaning high court judge, whom i've met all of 3 times tell me- as one career woman to another- that I should'nt put off procreating just to advance my career....oh, and this was completely unsolicited of course!!!
So why this sudden diatribe? before we got married, i told boy, in no uncertain terms, that babies are not on the radar for a long long time, and that he should let his parents also know, coz i dont want any- we-are-getting-old-we-want-to-see-our grandchild's-face-before-we-die kind of drama in my life. what i never thought of doing, was to give my own parents a similar lecture....thinking that as they have encouraged me all my life to make something of myself, they, if at all, will be against my having babies before my career is well on track. but of course, if only parents could be so predictable...so yesterday mum calls, and in the midst of general yapping, gives a fake-high-laugh (which should have been enough to warn me that this couldn't be good) and then says,
" ha, ha, you know, two weeks back, dad had a dream in which he saw you, boy, and the two of us, and we were all playing with a baby...so he got up and asked me to mark this date...ha ha ha...but of course since you cribbed later about chum cramps, it was all just a dream...ha ha ha"
me: blank
mum (repeating, with very faint interrogative tone): yeah so this was only a dream...?....
me: what do u THINK it was???are u CRAZY????
mum (backtracking, aware that she has stirred a hornet's nest): no, no, i said it was only a dream....
me: mum, dont even dream about it...at least for 5 years, then we might start thinking...
mum (alarmed): no, no, u shudnt leave it that long...boy will be too old by then...
me: whoa! whoa! whoa!! dont even go there ok! you want babies to play with-get bro married off and ask him to give you babies...or for all you know the baby dad saw was his...after all havent u heard, they've figured out you dont need to be married to make babies!! (ok, so this was a heaven sent opportunity to try out the line....)
mum (in full damage control mode): no, no you do what you want. obviously you know best. I was just telling you funny dream. Oh, dad's calling. ok, beta, bye! good nite!
now you have to know how my parents operate to understand this whole thing...they are not pushy...they dont do pushy...that's too unsophisticated...so there'll be little hints here, significant pauses there,-nothing overt that you can pin them down on- but enough for you to know, what it is that they want, and what will REALLY make them happy (reminder to self-DON'T ask parents what they want for birthday/anniversary for a long long time!!)
So. I dont know what shocked me more- my parents discussing the possibility of my procreating????(EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW) or that they would actually be happy if I started so soon?? of course, as a direct result, boy is walking around with a smug-superior-smirk on his face, and once in a while going "ha, so you thought my parents will bring it up first, did you??" trust parents to let you down in your important battles in life- carving a career for yourself, making your own choices, and of course, winning the my-relatives-are-better-than-yours feud with your spouse!!
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12 comments:
A little stork tells me [no pun intended :)], that boy has also been having a good laugh, because apparently u'd also said that he would want a baby soon because of peer pressure, cos all his friends would start having babies in a year or two!! As you say..the subtle messages came from the most unexpected quarters :).
well boy is so totally misguidedly smug...... that was not hint by parents...that was you being hyperperceptive and reading too much...but your hyper perceptiveness is easily forgiven since you were taking in the boy friends plus environment vibes
@ mem:muaah. yes it was like that only.
@ dew drop: dude,
a. change ur profile name. seriously
b.its true that boys friends are already having babies. also, boy shudn't act too smart and remember things like that. I can remember lots of things that boy would rather have me forget!!
c. why are both of us referring to you as "boy"?
@mem and cbm:
I dont think CBM is being hyperperceptive and reading too much etc etc. Very reliable sources tell me that this conversation between CBM and her mum went on for around 10 mins - ergo, CBM wasnt being hyperperceptive. But maybe one thing could be done to figure this out - boy could ask CBM's dad abt the dream. what say ;)
@CBM:
dont be jealous of the profile name. Actually, I should make it dew drops :). If not boy what would you say - "for purposes of the DV Act, boy is girl"!!
@ddoarp: NO one is jealous of that name no matter how geeky/funny anecdotal a reason u can give for it
@mem:
Maybe :). So, I changed it earlier this evening!
lol...i'm going to use your argument the next time my mother brings up the 'get married and have kids' line.
@ m: really i thought that i did well to avoid awkward "get maaried" discussions by plonking down boy in front of them and setting a date before they could get around to bugging me on it...but obviously that isn't good enough!
let me know if the line works:-)
and here i thought it ends with "beta get married, it would make us very happy!" :(
so did I ink, so did I :(
it worked it worked! :D
@ CBM and DDOARP/TLS: Stop commenting on each other's blogs and changing profile names just so that it looks like you have hajaar comments on your blogs.
Seriously guys, get a room :)
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